Mia reflects on life after college and “finding her why” with the help of this step-by-step, exercise driven workbook.

When Barbara came into my life, I thought that the idea of coaching was ridiculous for a few reasons. To start with, I am a twenty-something. Who was I to go around needing guidance and direction in life when the first two decades of it had been designated for that exact purpose? No, the time for introspection and pondering was over; it was time to get down to business. The second reason was that I didn’t want to ask for help from someone else, because to me, asking for help was a sign of weakness.

For the past twenty years of my life, if I didn’t look like I knew exactly where I was going—whether it was the right classroom for third period or the college major I would choose—I was considered lost. And the world had, quite cleverly and conveniently, erected a structure around me that told me exactly where to be and who to be. Regardless of college graduation or some other major life event ripping the rug out from underneath your feet, the result is the same: total disorientation.

Regardless of college graduation or some other major life event ripping the rug out from underneath your feet, the result is the same: total disorientation.

Suddenly the voices of authority stopped reverberating in my head. No one was telling me that I should become the president of this club or take that class to get a better job, better salary, better life. No, in the absence of that shrill, bossy tone was a sound entirely foreign to me: silence. That’s where “Find Your Why” came in.

See, I began to learn from Barbara that the most important voice we listen to is our own. Subconsciously we’ve all been curating our inner voice, but the twist is that we’ve become terrible at listening to it. And what I’ve learned is that there is never too late or too early a time to re-calibrate the frequencies that our ears pick up. So together with another contemplative Millennial, I carved out an afternoon and went through the exercise in the book. In that time, we went from being complete strangers to understanding each other more profoundly than most of the casual friends in my life. In the process, we were able to help one another figure out why we do the things we do, and began to pick up the faint whisper of our inner voices once again.

Subconsciously we’ve all been curating our inner voice, but the twist is that we’ve become terrible at listening to it.

Getting to know yourself is a lifelong process, but with any luck, it’s also enjoyable one. Through my time with Barbara, I’ve learned that building your relationship with yourself, your aspirations, and your intentions, are the most essential elements to life. They are the surest way to create your masterpiece— a life you love—one that takes your whole life to build. Find With Why lays that first brick.

A Look at a Book is a series I’m hosting to help keep you informed about the latest books having to do with adult development and middlescence. A Look at a Book is an efficient, enjoyable way to stay informed. 

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